YIKES! Where have the last 17 weeks gone?
Feeling a bit weird this week. Been doing the Franklin makeover and trying to focus on Courage (as I could do with a bit more of that). To be honest, I’ve been finding it hard to see examples of it, maybe I’m missing something but there just aren’t that many courageous moments in a day. Managed to find a few, but no way near as many as kindness or discipline. Maybe I should have been more courageous myself……?
I’ve also been struggling a bit with the Masterkey lesson this week. It’s about the power of concentration…deep thought focussed on a single object. But what object?? I get the theory, focus on causes not effects, focus on desire not the symbol it represents. The problem is, we have two PPN’s in our DMP, so which one do I focus on? One of my goals is to work at the National Theatre (PPN = Creative Expression) and the other is to hit RVP in my home business (PPN = Liberty) but which one should I focus on? I’ve found it hard to focus on one thing this week. On the plus side, I’ve become massively aware of how much I lack focus and my inability to see anything through, and honestly my lack of self confidence sometimes. It’s weird, sometimes I can be extremely confident in myself, I’ve performed on stage to thousands of people and packed out theatres (in one particular show wearing nothing but a towel), and other times I really doubt myself. At least these are useful insights to have as I can start to put better habits in place to remedy these character flaws and to apply the 7 laws of the mind more.
Also, with lesson 17 – are we supposed to focus just on the object of our desire and let our thoughts drift…? It definitely one I haven’t managed to get hold of this week and to be honest I’m quite looking forward to moving on.
Speaking of moving on, I’m now starting to wonder what happens at the end of the course, I know Mark and the team have an exit strategy, but if I’m being truthful, has this all been a bit of waste of time? because the fact is I haven’t stuck to this course completely 100%. And I’m starting to feel that because I haven’t put the work in everyday as required that I’ve got no results to show for it.
I’m even questioning my DMP now, I mean, I wrote down that I wanted to hit RVP in my networking marketing company, but again, I only ever got involved in Network Marketing as a means to fund my creative passions and help my family, I mean I like my NM company but I don’t live and breathe it. Acting has and always will come first for me, the NM business was supposed to give me the resources (time and money) to focus more on my love. Now I’m beginning to think it’s a distraction, and I could put my efforts to better use! Argh!!! And the worst thing is that I don’t even really have a mastermind group to share these problems with, I’d love to hear about others experiences and share mine. I’ve made some half hearted attempts to join one but again… didn’t really follow up. And so after 17 weeks, I feel a bit lost and isolated (I don’t have tribe, or even really know what that means! just hear other people talking about it on the webinars) All this has left me feeling a little bit….
I wrote down on my DMP that I commit to working on my business 10 hours a week… here’s the truth. I haven’t contacted or called a single person about my business since we started the course…. Yes, I’ve been going through a lot of other stuff and have been extremely busy…. but seriously….. why the **** can’t I take action? Instead I bury myself in ‘training videos’ and ‘webinars’ thinking I’m learning more and more but the reality is I’m hiding from the real work, or the MAIN THING as mark says on the Go90Grow course, which by the way is amazing, although I wouldn’t know as I’m yet to actually use any of it. Urgh.
Wow, this post is so negative… A real ‘Pity Party’ hahaha.
I can only Imagine what Mark J would say to me! Probably something along the lines of…. “Are you done now?….can we get back to work?!”
Feels good to air some of these thoughts, even though I’m technically going against all the MasterKey teachings by even giving them life and entertaining them, but show me someone who doesn’t feel down sometimes. In scroll 2 OG says “I endure sadness for it opens my soul” and agree with him, if you never feel sad how can you feel the jubilation of happiness. It’s part of being human. And this blog is essentially just a stream of consciousness….. in fact, I’m starting to feel much better already just having got some of these thoughts off my chest, it’s therapeutic to write down ones thoughts. And now it’s time to let it all go… and I’m reminded of this little guy.
So I’m gonna look through some of my cue cards now and remind myself of everything I’ve learned. I’ve become an observer, I’m grateful for so many things, clean water, my health, my families health, love, food, shelter to name a few. I’ve become more in touch with myself and the power of thought through the sits, I’ve learned amazing things about the human mind, I’ve seen the wonderful effects of giving more, of kindness. I’ve seen this course helping others and many more wonderful examples.
So I’ll keep going, strangely I’ve always had tenaciously dogged persistence, that’s never been my problem, I’m a stubborn bastard and I always keep going. So I will carry on and I will commit myself more to the course with full faith that it will gradually influence my Thoughts and Actions so that I will become a self-reliant and successful person… (see what did there)
We are all natures greatest miracles.
See you next week 😉